Archive for the ‘Healing’ category

BYE Now – Part 2

November 3, 2017

My sister asked me if I had something to wear to Dad’s funeral. I didn’t. I decided to head to Macy’s in New Hampshire to find a dress. I had no idea the synchronicity that was about to happen.

There was a Black Friday sale going on which I thought was particularly appropriate. It was also odd to have Black Friday in July. Typically, it’s a day-after-Thanksgiving sale. It turns out every Friday in July was a Black Friday at Macy’s this year. It certainly felt that way to me with Dad’s passing. I guess Macy’s just wanted to boost their summer sales.

I found a black designer dress that I liked right away. It was fit and flare with a high collar and midi- length. There were diamond cut-outs all over the dress. It was lined until a few inches from the hem, just allowing a peek of shin and calves beneath the black diamonds. I thought Dad would approve. He had more clothes than I do. If you know me, you know that’s really something. I do love me some fashion! And a bargain –  the sale price of the dress was only $50. Another gift from Dad.

I tried it on. The dress fit like it was made for me, but was sleeveless and I knew I’d be cold without something over my arms. I ventured out among the racks and found a black shrug to wear over it. It was a crop-length sweater with feminine eyelash lace at the collar and hem. Back at the mirror, I smoothed my hands over the bodice of the dress. It looked great. I wished I were wearing it to something else. Anything else. I tried to think of a happy occasion to wear it. And failed. I wrung my hands and took it off.

I bought the outfit and was walking to my car to hang up the dress. A friend was meeting me at the mall and I didn’t want to lug it around.

I often get messages from license plates when I’m driving. This happens a lot in NH where vanity plates are more prevalent than in my home state of Massachusetts. As I headed to my vehicle, I saw a NH plate that said “BYE-NOW” on the back of a red SUV. Red was Dad’s favorite color.

BYE NOW

I did a double take. He knew I was there. He was saying good bye because we hadn’t gotten to say it in person. I got goosebumps.

I put the dress in my car and walked right back toward the mall entrance. I’d taken less than a minute. The SUV was gone! It showed up just long enough to deliver my message. I shook my head and strode to the double doors to reenter Macy’s. These are the kinds of synchronicities that happen when you pay attention. The more you notice, the more they happen. The more supported you feel in life – at least I do.

In the last part of this trilogy, I’ll share my frustration at the funeral and how I got over it.

Corinne L. Casazza is an international best-selling author based in Boston, Massachusetts. Corinne believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

Check out Corinne’s Amazon Author page: www.amazon.com/author/corinnecasazza

Corinne’s Facebook Page includes tips for beginning writers.

For more information about Corinne, visit her Web site at CorinneCasazza.com

 

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BYE NOW Part 1

October 27, 2017

I lost my father three months ago. I lost him in bits and pieces. Dementia. The disease of a thousand deaths. My father was once larger than life. It was painful to watch his world become smaller and smaller.

Dad

It was a hot, sunny Saturday in July and I was out with my guy on his Harley. We got back to his garage just in time. A thunderstorm delivered a deluge to our door. We sat in the safety of the garage watching the rain. I looked up through trees and clouds to the opening sky and had the strangest sensation. I was back sitting on the porch at my grandmother’s house looking out at the sky through the trees wondering where she’d gone. She had just passed away. I was seven.

Back at the garage, I checked my phone. I hadn’t heard the texts come in. They were from my sister, niece and nephew each one asking where I was. They had come in over the course of an hour, each more frantic than the previous. My family was used to me responding immediately.

I texted to say I was safe and asked what was going on. When I didn’t get a response, I called my sister. “Why don’t you come and see us?” She sounded so tentative, her tone odd, unlike her. I asked if everything was ok. She said, “Yeah, just… come and see us.”

I hung up and turned to my guy, “What’s going on?”

He put his hands on my shoulders, and looked into my eyes. “Your Dad is either free or they had to put him someplace where they can help him until he’s free. Are you gonna be okay with either of those things?”

I told him I had to be.

I had an idea what was going on. Dementia. I had felt my Dad’s body was strong, but his consciousness was leaving. At 6 foot 2, 220 pounds he was still a strong, strapping man. I say I felt his body was strong. Up until this week. It was only four days earlier I was sitting on the deck at my friend Patti’s house and told her, “My Dad doesn’t look good to me. I don’t think he’s gonna be here much longer. Can you check in and see what you get?”

Patti is a psychic and a medium, she talks to the dead. She closed her eyes, and very quickly opened them, “Oh,” she squinted into the sun, “Your mother is at your shoulder. She said she’s waiting for him now.”

As I drove to my Dad’s, I was thinking of this and wondering if it were true. My cousins from Kansas had been visiting their mother and spent some time with my Dad. They had just gotten on a plane to go home. I thought, “The boys are going to have to come right back here.”

As I had the thought, a butterfly flew across my windshield. My breath caught. And I knew. I knew he was gone. I started to cry. I hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye to him.

I figured my sister didn’t want to tell me because I had a 45-minute drive. This is exactly what she was trying to avoid – me crying behind the wheel.

When I arrived at Dad’s house, I saw a police car out front – further confirmation. When I walked in, my sister, niece, nephew and brother-law were all in the kitchen along with the cop. My sister was crying.

She nodded at me, “He’s gone.”

I went to walk through the kitchen and the officer blocked my way. I stopped, thinking how odd it was to be forbidden entrance to my Dad’s home by a stranger.

“You don’t want to see him like that,” my sister said, “You don’t want to remember him that way.”

I didn’t ask what way. I didn’t want to know.

We sat in the kitchen for an hour. Strung out and staring into space. It was so sudden and shocking. We knew he was sick, but Dementia can linger for years.

We started cleaning out the house the day after the funeral. None of us wanted to do it. I think we all knew the longer we waited, the more difficult it would be.

My Dad was a typical Italian patriarch. Very macho. His idea of showing me affection was punching me in the shoulder. He was so strong, he’d usually knock me off my chair.

He had so many keepsakes. His soft-heartedness was well hidden beneath his massive frame and tough talk.

“He kept every card we ever gave him,” my niece said. It was true.

I found a few I had written him for Father’s Day, before I’d even learned to spell. One reports, “If I had some moey I would have got you a gift just from me, but Mother took my moey and didn’t pay me back yet. Happy Father’s Day.”

Father's day card2

Dad is loud and boisterous even in his absence. The night he passed I woke abruptly at 4 am. Very heavy footsteps on the stairs. So loud I bolted upright in bed, heart flying. After a few deep breaths, I realized it was him and relaxed, “OK, Dad, I know you’re here….” He did it again a few minutes later for good measure. I slept with the lights on, the little girl in me wishing he could tuck me in. I miss his imposing physical presence. It always made me feel so safe. Dad lets me know in other ways he’s around. In my next blog, I’ll share how he showed up at the mall.

Corinne L. Casazza is an international best-selling author based in Boston, Massachusetts. Corinne believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

Check out Corinne’s Amazon Author page: www.amazon.com/author/corinnecasazza

Corinne’s Facebook Page includes tips for beginning writers.

For more information about Corinne, visit her Web site at CorinneCasazza.com

 

 

 

The Resurrection of Bela Lugosi

October 17, 2017

Recently, one of the participants in my writing group saw an invitation on Facebook to a meditation inside the Great Pyramid at Giza. She forwarded it to me asking if it was my meditation since no name was included in the posting. I have a great affinity towards Egypt and I’d taken my students to a temple there in meditation. This one wasn’t mine, but it got me to thinking.

“I can do that meditation for you,” I told her. “I’ve been inside the king’s chamber in the Great Pyramid and I carry that energy.”

Great Pyramid

The others all agreed they’d like to journey there in meditation. I created a meditation that took us there and included the ritual I took part in when I was fortunate enough to be a seeker inside the Great Pyramid.

Sarcophagus in the great pyramid

There’s a huge stone sarcophagus at the front of the king’s chamber.  A tomb. A coffin. The ritual is designed as death and rebirth; a transformation. You lie in the coffin for one minute simulating your death and emerge, stepping out of the death chamber reborn, resurrected. What will you leave behind? What will you purge? What will your life be like moving forward in this new energy, this new consciousness? What will you do with your redo? These are some of the questions for contemplation in this meditation.

I took my students through the meditation and had them sit and write afterward. I was focused on holding the energy for the students, so I wasn’t expecting anything to come through for me – but it did.

I was transported back to a time when I was about eight-years-old. Two of my mother’s aunts had come to visit and one of my Dad’s aunts was also there. My maternal aunts greeted my paternal aunt by fawning over her saying, “Oh bella, bella….”

If you’re not an Italian, if you’re not a member of this tribe, you may not know this is a typical greeting. Italians call you bella, beautiful – whether you are or not. Let’s just say my Dad’s aunt was not a conventional beauty.

So, my aunts called “Bella, bella,” until they turned their backs on my Dad’s aunt and whispered to me, “Bella, yeah, right! Bela Lugosi!”

I raised my eyebrows at them. I couldn’t believe they were comparing my aunt to the Hungarian-American actor who I knew from all those horror movies I was so fond of watching on Saturday mornings – “Creature Double Feature.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

Bela Lugosi

Bela Lugosi is most famous for his role as Dracula – a blood-sucking vampire. What does a vampire have to do with death and rebirth? Well, aside from the obvious irony that he rises from his grave every day, I would say that sarcasm, gossip and speaking ill of others all dim our light. These habits limit us and keep us from our greatness and our purpose. All our doubts and fears do this. They really are vampires that suck our life-force from us. The more we can overcome our doubts and fears, the more we step into whatever it is that we’re here to do. We leave our little selves behind and are resurrected into our True Selves.

If my aunts had looked a little closer, they would have seen a very strong woman in their counterpart. One who raised three children alone and ran her own business from her home. The Italians are right. Everyone IS beautiful. We just have to look beyond our own shortcomings to see that. We can let go of our doubts and fears, our limiting beliefs and be resurrected into the best we can be, our True Selves. The best part is we don’t have to lie down in a sarcophagus to do it.

Corinne L. Casazza is an international best-selling author based in Boston, Massachusetts. Corinne believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

Check out Corinne’s Amazon Author page: www.amazon.com/author/corinnecasazza

Corinne’s Facebook Page includes tips for beginning writers.

For more information about Corinne, visit her Web site at CorinneCasazza.com

Swabbed and Swiped from Both Ends

August 18, 2016
Swabbed and Swiped

Swabbed and Swiped

This week I discovered I have strep throat. I also went to the gynecologist for my annual exam. So, I’ve been swabbed and swiped from both ends and haven’t liked it very much.

I ate nothing but saltines and soda for four days while my throat burned and I felt like my head was in a vice. That was nothing compared to my visit to the gyno.

She told me I’m peri-menopausal – as if I didn’t already know. “Do you still get a period?” she asked. I felt like a fossil. I told her I feel like I’m losing muscle tone. She laughed and told me that’s a symptom of menopause. The rest of the symptoms weren’t much fun either: hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, memory loss, vaginal dryness, irritability. Yeah, I’ll bet vaginal dryness would make me irritable.

I joked with my sister later that evening, “So, what, I’m just gonna be this dried up, doughy person from now on? I guess the upside is I won’t remember how good I used to look.”

Luckily before I went headlong down the rat hole of despair, I talked to a Canadian friend of mine. “Corinne,” she said, “You teach removing limiting beliefs, this is like anything else, make up your mind to have an easy time of it and you will.”

Duh. Of course. Here’s another example of getting overwhelmed and completely forgetting all the tools in my toolbox.

My friend also recommended Christian Northrup’s “Wisdom of Menopause.” I started reading it and feel much better about things. Dr. Northrup says this is a great time of creativity and fulfillment. A great time to change careers and do what you’re meant to be doing. A time to have the best sex of your life.

I didn’t realize a woman’s entire brain is rewired during this time. It’s more of an event than a mere transition. A life-changing event that sets you up for the second half of life. The best half. Believe the best is yet to be and it will be.

You can bet my attitude has shifted this week. Yup. I am breezing through an easy, symptom-free menopause. I can’t wait to see what miracles my new rewired brain creates in my life. And, oh by the way, I’ve never believed I’d have vaginal dryness.

Corinne and her Canadian friend are co-facilitating “Accessing the Writer Within” in Sedona next year. Of course, it contains a module on removing limiting beliefs! You can check it out here:

http://stellarproductionslive.com/PreRetreatSeminars.html

Corinne L. Casazza was sitting atop a camel next to the Sphinx, when her guide told her after this she’d “Walk Like an Egyptian.” This was a great synchronicity since it’s the name of Corinne’s second novel, written long before she ever went to Egypt.

Corinne is an international best-selling author based in Massachusetts. She’s published three novels, a best-selling book on relationship and dozens of magazine articles. Her marketing copy has helped almost a dozen people become best-selling authors on Amazon, including herself!

Corinne strongly believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

For more information, visit her:

 

On Goals and Becoming a best-selling author

August 31, 2014
my new best-selling ebook

My new best-selling ebook!

It is with great joy and humility that I write this line: I became a best-selling author this week. Yes, I am so amazed, excited, elated and grateful. I achieved a goal that has been a dream of mine for almost four decades. Truly, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. When I received the news that my latest ebook: “Break These Chains of Love: A New Paradigm for Relationship” hit best-seller status on Amazon, I was overjoyed! I felt like someone should pinch me. I cried tears of joy for about a half hour.

I knew that someday this would happen. I’ve been writing since I was eight years old. It’s only been in the last six years that I began to believe it. I had been in the energy of and interviewed so many best-selling authors during my time in Sedona and I’d also written copy that helped eight other people become best-selling authors on Amazon: this finally made me believe it would one day be my destiny too.

Although this had been a dream of mine almost all my life, I had never written it down! When I teach classes on manifestation, the first thing I tell people is to write down their dreams, what they want to manifest. The act of writing it down brings the wish from the world of spirit and the ethers, into the material world of form.

I always have a list of goals I’m working on and “becoming a best-selling author” was never on it! I finally put it in writing only a few months ago.  Why? I had so much fear around this goal and a huge story to go with it!

I worried that if I were a best-selling author, I’d have to take responsibility for my gifts and actually USE them! Oh no! And people would want to talk to me. They’d want to hear what I had to say. For someone who was painfully shy as a child, this is a huge fear. I had to be willing to be seen and heard: no more hiding. And, there was a whole pile of the unknown – that wonderful mystery we need to step into to create the life of our dreams – that went along with it.

The other thing that happened prior to my hitting best-seller status was a change in my attitude. I moved from selfish to service. Instead of simply wanting people to read my work (selfish), I shifted to feeling and believing that my experience could actually help someone (service). I told myself if I helped just one person with my new book, my job was done.

There were two days this week, the two days that just preceded my best-seller status, where I actually felt deeply what it would feel like to be of service with my writing. This feeling brought me to tears on both of those days.

So, my conclusion here is to advise you to write down your goals. Even the big, scary ones – in fact, especially those. The Universe has a way of bringing up and clearing all your limiting beliefs that get in the way – IF you are paying attention and willing to change.

________________________________

Corinne L. Casazza is a best-selling author based in Boston, Massachusetts. She is currently at work on her third novel. Corinne believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

Corinne’s best-selling ebook: “Break These Chains of Love: A New Paradigm for Relationship” is available here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00N1F8TL8

Check out Corinne’s Amazon Author page: www.amazon.com/author/corinnecasazza

Learn more about Corinne’s class on Removing Limiting Beliefs on Sunday, September 21st.

Corinne’s Facebook Fan Page includes tips for beginning writers.

For more information about Corinne including classes and speaking events, visit her Web site at CorinneCasazza.com

 

Return to the Temple: A Baptism into Love and Joy

January 27, 2013
Ceiling mural at temple of Dendera

Ceiling mural at temple of Dendera

My trip to Egypt in November 2010 was priceless. It was the trip of a lifetime and I know setting foot on that ancient soil has changed me in ways I may never be consciously aware of. I do know that I received an initiation when I was there which opened me to love and joy in a whole new way.

In ancient Egypt, initiations were life-threatening. They were serve or suffer, sink or swim. Initiates were thrown into situations (like spending an entire night in a sealed sarcophagus) and if they couldn’t face their fears they risked death. It was a way of surrendering to pain and fear and then being able to render more of your true self to service. While my life was never in jeopardy, my initiation still required surrendering.

I was on a bus traveling from Abydos to Dendera – two sacred temples, the last two on our journey. Dendera is the Goddess Hathor’s temple dedicated to love and joy. While on the bus, I was overcome with motion sickness. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Oh, there was the usual dizziness and nausea, but my whole body was convulsing uncontrollably. I was aware of what was being said around me, I just couldn’t move. I was so nauseous I knew I’d have to get sick before I felt better. I didn’t want to focus on that. I especially didn’t want to think about the flight back to Cairo I’d have to board later that night… as the bus careened and thumped along a bumpy dirt road and the driver blared his horn every two seconds, I had to focus on letting go. Just relaxing into the moment.

When we arrived in Dendera, the air conditioning on the bus shut off. The other 44 people all walked past my seat. The combination of the heat and the sudden movement was just enough to push me over the edge. I lost my lunch in a plastic bag.

Once you toss your cookies on a bus full of people, all vanity pretty much goes out the window. I did start to feel a bit better though. Emil, the Egyptologist on our tour, told me I had to see the temple.

“I don’t want to,” I said my head slumped against the multi-colored bus seat in front of me.

“You must come,” he insisted, waving his hands around.

I knew I had to go. I didn’t want to miss the temple of love and joy. I had come so far to be here. I got off the bus and walked out into the 100 degree heat. Emil took my hand and led me away from the group.

“Come,” he said. “I give you good medicine, local medicine.”

He pulled me by the hand up to the front of the line where people with tickets were waiting to get into the temple. He shouted something in Arabic to the guard and pulled me right past the line.  I looked back in amazement at all the people we’d just cut. It was just so surreal.

Emil kept dragging me by the hand. We ran up to the front of the temple and he said, “Tip your head over.”

“What?” It was the last thing I felt like doing. I still felt slightly dizzy and nauseous and moving my head didn’t help.

“Tip your head over, I give you medicine.”

I did as I was told and Emil poured a bottle of cold water over my head. It cooled me down and I felt a bit better.

I entered the temple and the guard put down his automatic weapon to spread a cloth at the base of one of the columns for me to sit. He smiled and I could feel his compassion as he pointed me to my prepared place. I barely listened to the tour Emil was giving. I was still pretty out of it.

Then Nicki Scully, one of our tour guides and an incredible shaman, came over to me and held out her hand. She led me further into the temple.

Nicki was dressed in one of her ceremonial vestments – a beautiful black velvet robe with silk inlays. I kept stepping on her robe as we walked.

She led me into an interior room and sat me in the corner. “Sit here,” she said, “and let her heal you.” She pointed to the ceiling which was covered in a relief.

“This is my favorite room in all of Egypt. Just sit here and take it in.”

With that, Nicki was gone leaving me to stare up at the ceiling and sip the warm coke Emil had given me to settle my stomach. The ancient wall of the temple was cool behind my head and I wondered what had transpired in this room through the ages. What kinds of rituals and initiations had gone on here? Who served? Who suffered? Who lived to praise the Goddess another day?

I turned my attention to the ceiling, letting go of the pain in my body. The ceiling mural was still somewhat colorized. Different hues of blue still partially covered the stone. Part of the mural depicted Hathor surrounded by the rays of the sun. The rays were represented by carved triangles arranged in a pyramid shape around the Goddess. The stars of the sky were also present. They looked like little asterisks on a blue background.

Various tour groups entered the room as I was huddled in the corner. I learned this was the Divine Birthing room. The mural depicted the Goddess Nut swallowing the sun in the evening and giving birth to it in the morning.

I sat there with my head against the ancient wall staring at the stars on the ceiling, wondering what I was birthing. I could feel the presence of the Goddess all around me. She was beckoning me to relax into me. To melt into myself. To feel who I truly am – my power, my authority, my True Self, my expression. And I felt it, this energy, my energy. It was so calm but SO strong.

I could feel the energy coming off me in waves, emanating from me as if I were giving off my own light and heat; my own special brand of sunshine. And isn’t that what we do when we bring our gifts out into the world?

The energy was so strong. It made my head feel light. I kept breathing down through my feet to stay grounded. The Goddess was with me. I could feel two sets of hands over my heart chakra and another at my throat. She was showing me how safe it is to be in my heart, telling me this is where my true wisdom comes from; my authentic expression, my love and my joy.

This energy was all knowing. It encompassed the entire emotional spectrum. Here I was so vulnerable as to bare my throat to be slashed while simultaneously being so powerful I was invincible. From this state, I could tell you anything, bare my soul and not be concerned about judgment or condemnation. I felt completely blissful; knowing I had everything I needed. This was freedom!

The Goddess was holding me gently and lovingly. She was bringing me to my own wisdom. She was telling me this is the state I need to write from. From that love and joy, I could connect with my truth and trust, with my courage and contentment, with my bliss. From here I could reach the hearts and souls of others to rejoice in our sameness and our differences.

She was also showing me how strong my mental body is and that I needed to relinquish control. Stop thinking and start feeling. I had believed that all my safety was in my mental body and I didn’t feel safe outside it. Goddess had to take me to my core to show me true safety is in the heart.

It wasn’t until later that I realized I’d been baptized at the temple of love and joy. By pouring that water over my head outside the temple, Emil had symbolically prepared me to open to receive love and joy in a whole new way. By letting go of pain and fear and opening my heart to love and joy, I had passed my initiation.

I created a meditation from this experience. It’s designed to help you create from your love and joy. You can find it here on my web site, CasazzaWriting.com. It’s a free download. A gift from my heart and the heart of the Goddess to you.

Corinne’s novel, Walk Like an Egyptian is available at Amazon.com or from Llumina Press.

Check out Corinne’s Facebook Fan Page for tips for beginning writers.

Follow Corinne on Twitter @CorinneCasazza

Visit Corinne’s Web site: http://www.CasazzaWriting.com

A Yellow Portulaca OR Follow the Signs

November 21, 2012

You may have heard me say when I don’t know what happens next, I write description. Description should be lyrical and visual. It should not only include what’s palpable to the five senses, but also what feelings it evokes in your main character(s). Used in this way, setting becomes a character itself.

As I thought about this tip, a memory from writing Walk Like an Egyptian came to mind. I was describing my father’s garden at home in Boston where I grew up. I talked about the gray cement fence that was a barrier between our yard and the neighbors behind us. My Dad has a very green thumb and every inch of our yard was planted with vegetables, herbs and flowers. The fence was no exception. It had holes in the top of it. My Dad filled the holes with dirt and planted portulacas there. They sprouted up multi-colored from the top of the wall for all to see. Portulacas are small flowers that come in a rainbow of colors.

After I finished this description, I walked out of my house in Sedona to pick up my mail. I walked past a large cement flower pot that was at the top of my fence. As I walked by, I thought I saw a yellow flower in the pot. I did a double take. I had never planted anything there and had never seen anything grow there.

I looked into the planter again and rubbed my eyes. There, in the middle of this previously empty flower pot, was a single yellow portulaca! I couldn’t believe it. I even went so far as to go back inside and Google the flower to be sure I remembered it correctly.

Yup. There was a yellow portulaca in my flower pot! I took that as a sign that my story was progressing in the right direction. The Universe can give us some pretty unmistakable signs if we are paying attention. So… keep writing and look for those signs around you that tell you you’re on the right track.

Corinne’s novel, Walk Like an Egyptian is available at Amazon.com or from Llumina Press.

Check out Corinne’s Facebook Fan Page for tips for beginning writers.

Follow Corinne on Twitter @CorinneCasazza

Visit Corinne’s Web site: http://www.CasazzaWriting.com