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How Steering a Boat is like Writing

August 16, 2018

I’ve had motion sickness since I was a kid. Every family vacation my mother tried to hide Dramamine in an Oreo and get me to eat it. This never worked.

Despite knowing this, my friends invited me aboard their 25-foot motor boat for a ride down the intercoastal waterway and out to Ft. Myers beach.

I loved the speed of the boat, the wind in my hair and the view of just sky and sea: Blue that goes on forever. But, when the boat slowed for my friends to fish, me no likey. It was hot. Very hot. And still. I started to sweat. I felt the motion of the boat more intensely. I tried to ignore the slapping of the stern on the water. Not so much. My head started to spin; my stomach to turn.

Even in the glare of the sun, my face was ashen. My friend squinted over her Ray bans at me, “Are you okay?”

Without waiting for my answer, her husband said, “Come over here, I’m gonna teach you to steer the boat.” I moved gingerly over to the Captain’s chair, holding on every step of the way and took the wheel. I learned how to navigate the boat, check the speed and the water depth and even see if there were fish below us. With this steady focus and determination to keep the boat on course, my queasiness was gone. And, I was psyched that I did it.

So why am I telling you this? What does driving a boat have to do with writing?

Well, for me steering the boat was a new skill. It was scary and more than a little uncomfortable. I didn’t know the first thing about where to start. You may feel like this about writing. You’d like to start a book but aren’t sure what to do. Maybe you’re overwhelmed by all the thoughts swirling in your head. The idea of creating a complete manuscript seems daunting. You may even wonder how much experience you need.

Just like navigating the boat, you don’t need any experience. Having an expert sit by your side makes all the difference. This is the same for writing. Someone who has written a book (or several) can guide and direct you to the quiet the chaos in your head. An expert gives you tips, techniques and insider secrets to get you writing and keep you writing. Imagine how you’ll feel when you’ve finished a whole book. It’s possible. I know. I’ve done it.

I can help you do it too.

If you hear those inner whisperings, I can help you write your book.

Corinne L. Casazza is a best-selling author who helps heart-centered people write books. Her clients come from all walks of life – they are entrepreneurs: mediums and healers, life coaches, attorneys and others – but whatever their calling, they all write books that transform the lives of others. Corinne strongly believes that through humor and self-expression we all find our own inner light.

For more information about Corinne visit: – web site – Amazon author page – Facebook Writer’s page

How Steering a Boat is like Writing is available on

The Wisdom of Uncertainty or There’s No Place Like Home

August 15, 2018

The post The Wisdom of Uncertainty or There’s No Place Like Home was originally published on

The Resurrection of Bela Lugosi

October 17, 2017

Recently, one of the participants in my writing group saw an invitation on Facebook to a meditation inside the Great Pyramid at Giza. She forwarded it to me asking if it was my meditation since no name was included in the posting. I have a great affinity towards Egypt and I’d taken my students to a temple there in meditation. This one wasn’t mine, but it got me to thinking.

“I can do that meditation for you,” I told her. “I’ve been inside the king’s chamber in the Great Pyramid and I carry that energy.”

Great Pyramid

The others all agreed they’d like to journey there in meditation. I created a meditation that took us there and included the ritual I took part in when I was fortunate enough to be a seeker inside the Great Pyramid.

Sarcophagus in the great pyramid

There’s a huge stone sarcophagus at the front of the king’s chamber.  A tomb. A coffin. The ritual is designed as death and rebirth; a transformation. You lie in the coffin for one minute simulating your death and emerge, stepping out of the death chamber reborn, resurrected. What will you leave behind? What will you purge? What will your life be like moving forward in this new energy, this new consciousness? What will you do with your redo? These are some of the questions for contemplation in this meditation.

I took my students through the meditation and had them sit and write afterward. I was focused on holding the energy for the students, so I wasn’t expecting anything to come through for me – but it did.

I was transported back to a time when I was about eight-years-old. Two of my mother’s aunts had come to visit and one of my Dad’s aunts was also there. My maternal aunts greeted my paternal aunt by fawning over her saying, “Oh bella, bella….”

If you’re not an Italian, if you’re not a member of this tribe, you may not know this is a typical greeting. Italians call you bella, beautiful – whether you are or not. Let’s just say my Dad’s aunt was not a conventional beauty.

So, my aunts called “Bella, bella,” until they turned their backs on my Dad’s aunt and whispered to me, “Bella, yeah, right! Bela Lugosi!”

I raised my eyebrows at them. I couldn’t believe they were comparing my aunt to the Hungarian-American actor who I knew from all those horror movies I was so fond of watching on Saturday mornings – “Creature Double Feature.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

Bela Lugosi

Bela Lugosi is most famous for his role as Dracula – a blood-sucking vampire. What does a vampire have to do with death and rebirth? Well, aside from the obvious irony that he rises from his grave every day, I would say that sarcasm, gossip and speaking ill of others all dim our light. These habits limit us and keep us from our greatness and our purpose. All our doubts and fears do this. They really are vampires that suck our life-force from us. The more we can overcome our doubts and fears, the more we step into whatever it is that we’re here to do. We leave our little selves behind and are resurrected into our True Selves.

If my aunts had looked a little closer, they would have seen a very strong woman in their counterpart. One who raised three children alone and ran her own business from her home. The Italians are right. Everyone IS beautiful. We just have to look beyond our own shortcomings to see that. We can let go of our doubts and fears, our limiting beliefs and be resurrected into the best we can be, our True Selves. The best part is we don’t have to lie down in a sarcophagus to do it.

Corinne L. Casazza is an international best-selling author based in Boston, Massachusetts. Corinne believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

Check out Corinne’s Amazon Author page:

Corinne’s Facebook Page includes tips for beginning writers.

For more information about Corinne, visit her Web site at


April 12, 2014
Sweet Freedom!

Sweet Freedom!

I’ve been very blessed with the opportunity to travel extensively. I’ve been to some of the most beautiful places on the planet. I love to travel, and even to fly. But it wasn’t always that way.

From the time I was a kid, I was petrified to fly. I especially hated to fly alone. I think this stemmed from one of those childhood séance games where I was told I’d die in a plane crash. Everything that even led up to flying scared me. My stomach dropped when I got my first glimpse of the airport from the cab. Standing in a long security line would have panic rising inside me. The fear was so strong my legs would shake. I would look around frantically wondering if anyone could see the terror on my face – and sure that they could.

Every time I boarded an aircraft, I felt I was being sent to my death. Every bump, every turbulent jolt had me clutching the arms of my seat, hands sweating, heart pounding, breathing way too shallow. I was so afraid to fly, I would get physically sick. Yes, I’ve used a few airbags in my time…

I did a lot of work on myself to make my peace with flying. I did hypnosis, meditation, subliminal tapes, writing out affirmations and repeating them. I finally got to a place where I could fly without feeling sick and with relative calm. If turbulence cropped up or if I felt nervous, I would simply call to Archangel Michael or meditate. This always worked. It worked when I was traveling home in the wake of a hurricane and the plane was bouncing up and down. It even worked when I had to slide down the slide of a British Airways flight that never left the ground in Phoenix. I’ve been traveling with more confidence for the past six years or so.

This year though, my travel fears came back with a vengeance. I actually got sick on a flight to Houston. That hadn’t happened in years. The pilot said it was the bumpiest ride he’d ever experienced and I knew it wasn’t about that at all. I got to the point where I felt unsafe in my own vehicle (this is unheard of!) and I had a complete meltdown when my well-meaning partner told me we’d be taking the ferry across the mighty St. Lawrence to Quebec City. I’ve been on ferries, boats and cruise ships my whole life. I’ve even sailed down the Nile. There was no reason to have a fit. I just didn’t feel safe. I ended up loving the ferry and the view — once I was done crying.

But then…. I went to visit Sai Maa. Sai Maa is an Enlightened Being.  She is God and she knows it. She’s a Master in our own backyard. I first met Sai Maa in Albany in June of 2013. As soon as I caught a glimpse of her, I started crying. When she stepped from her vehicle in a wide-brimmed hat with a huge smile and walked toward the crowd that had gathered to greet her, I kept crying. I couldn’t stop.

She is so beautiful. At 60, her café au lait skin is flawless. She possesses a timeless radiance, an inner light no amount of youth can match. In short, she is breath-taking. But that was not the reason for my tears. I was crying because I could feel her energy. I could feel the love of Divine Mother and it opened my heart. I was not prepared for my reaction to her. I’d never experienced anything like it and I knew that in some way she was for me – although I didn’t know quite what that meant. I felt like some part of me had recognized her and was SO thrilled to see her again.

After meeting her, I knew I was meant to learn from her. I had to attend her retreat. And, yes, I had to fly there alone. I wasn’t so happy about it, but I knew my time with her would be more than worth it. I read the astrological forecast for the day I planned to leave. It told me not to travel! Things would break and be delayed. People would be angry and mean. Stay home if you can, it warned. I thought, Really Universe? Really? Then just as quickly, That’s not what’s in my heart and that’s not what I’m going to manifest. I called to Sai Maa for grace. I know this prison is of my own making, I told her. Please give me the grace to get through it, just for today…

And she did. My flight was quick and smooth. And on time. Everyone I dealt with from the cab driver to the security personnel to the flight attendant was pleasant. I arrived at my destination happy and feeling well.

The purpose of the retreat was to do healing work with Sai Maa. I was very ready to do this work. As I watched other attendees do theirs, I was so struck by how transformed they all were. Their faces were luminous, their eyes full of light; they looked years younger! I could see it was easier for them to express themselves. I kept thinking, I want what they’re having.

When I got up to do my work, there was no thinking. There was only feeling. Sai Maa guided me through the experience. Life-long fears and limiting beliefs I’ve held were removed. Programming that had been running me since childhood was gone. I was aware as soon as we were done that I was more in my essence, more my True Self.

Sai Maa asked me, as she had asked the others before me, to step aside and stand with my arms outstretched. She wanted me to feel my new energy, since my consciousness had been transformed. As I closed my eyes and stretched out my arms, I was aware that my entire stance on the earth was different. I was grounded in a way I never had been. I felt lighter, yet full. Powerful, but soft.

As Maa watched me move, she said, “Oh, she is a sensual one, this one.”

I laughed. Then I started to cry.

“What do you feel?” she asked me.

“I feel joy.”

“And I hear, ‘finally,’” she said.

“Yes, finally,” I repeated. I had been calling to Maa for joy for months, and here it was!

I thanked Maa and went back to my seat to witness the work of others. I knew that if even the way I stood was different, then my experiences would be very different too.

During a break, I was sitting in the back of the retreat room with my eyes closed and my back against the wall. I had the experience of being One with the rotation of the earth. I could feel it and see it! I was actually IN the rotation of the earth. This lasted for about 30 seconds to a minute. OK, I realize we are all always in the rotation of the earth by virtue of the very fact that we are here, but I’ve never been consciously aware of that subtle movement.

A few times at the retreat, I had the experience of complete contentment. I was sitting watching the others do their work, just gazing out, when all thought ceased in my head. There was nothingness…. Just complete contentment…. And then my range of vision started to crumble…. That happened a few times, for no more than a minute, but it was amazing! The freedom I felt after working with Maa was astounding. I’d never experienced it before in this lifetime.

Then it was time to go home. I wasn’t worried about the flight at all. No tremors at the sight of the airport and no long security line. One of other retreat attendees was in the same terminal and we talked about our experiences until it was time for me to board. There was no more feeling of moving toward my death when I boarded the plane. I was just excited to get back to Boston.

Aboard the plane, I had the row to myself. When does that ever happen anymore? I was so relaxed, peaceful and serene the whole flight! It was a very smooth, very quick flight and we were making our descent into Boston before I knew it. Since I was alone in the row, I looked out the window. This is not something I usually do. Normally upon take off and landing I am sitting very still in my seat with my head against the back of the chair. I don’t dare move my head for fear of motion sickness. Now I was enjoying the view and the glow of the lights as we glided over Boston harbor.

It wasn’t the first time I’d seen the lights over the city, but this time I was awed by their luminescence and beauty. As I looked out, I kept thinking, This is so beautiful. This is so beautiful. Then I heard a voice in my head. It said, There can be no fear where there is love. And I just got it! I understood that to the core of my being. I started crying tears of gratitude for the understanding of that simple truth. In that moment I knew it didn’t matter what happened next. It didn’t matter if the plane banked right, if it banked left, or if it fell out of the sky, because I was okay! I got it!

It’s one thing to know a concept intellectually and quite another to feel it to the core of your being. I had always known that fear and love couldn’t exist in the same space. I couldn’t truly grasp it until I had the experience of being completely safe and completely free. My next trip is coming up soon. I know my future adventures will be blessed with freedom and a greater love of travel. I am so grateful to Sai Maa for the incredible gift of my freedom!

For more information on Sai Maa, visit her web site: or like her on Facebook at:

Corinne L. Casazza is a freelance writer based in Boston, Massachusetts. She is currently at work on her third novel. Corinne believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

Corinne’s novel, Walk Like an Egyptian is available at or from Llumina Press.

Check out Corinne’s Facebook Fan Page for tips for beginning writers.

Visit Corinne’s Web site at


Cold as a Witch’s Teat: Six Keys to Surviving Winter in New England

February 12, 2014

The author at Revere Beach after a winter storm.

Okay, I am a New Englander, a Bostonian born and bred, but let’s be clear: I have never liked the cold. And let’s face it, we have more snow than Sochi. One of the first things that strikes me about winter in New England is that no matter the temperature, people are drinking iced Dunkin Donuts coffee – yup, whether it’s -2 degrees or 22, people have their iced Dunkins. I recently walked into a nationwide discount store in my city. The temperature was 20 out and the store was sampling Italian ice! Really? As I passed by the stand, I told the woman, “No thanks, I’m cold enough.” Why would you sample an ice product when it’s below freezing out? Only in New England.

I spent six years wandering the desert of Arizona and now that I have a few New England winters under my belt again, I feel compelled to share my secrets for surviving the frozen tundra I call home.

  1. Dress in layers – I typically wear three layers and carry an extra pair of sox in my purse. No one needs to know you have on those one-piece footy pajamas (complete with rear escape hatch) under your clothes. Trust me, no one will notice. If you want to be sensual, try wearing natural silk long underwear. Be careful, the friction from these undies has been known to start fires…
  2. Have a sunny outlook – No matter how cold it gets, it’s always warm in your heart. Make an effort to see the beauty of the waning winter sun and the gray sky. If that doesn’t work, meditate – just be sure to do it under a blanket.
  3. Find a heat source – This could be a loved one, your dog or a heating element. Winter months in New England are a great time to cuddle up. I confess, for the last two months, I have been sitting with my feet up on the entertainment center that houses my TV and an electric fire place that throws heat. Wow, no wonder watching Justified is steamier than usual.
  4. Get away – New Englanders love to visit tropical locales in winter. And why not? Sticking your toes in the sand is a sure fire antidote for the winter blues. This winter I took off to Florida in December and San Diego in January. Don’t forget to post photos on Facebook so all your friends stuck at home in arctic temperatures can be really jealous!
  5. Take up a winter sport – My sport of choice is ice skating and I love to do it outside on a frozen pond. There’s nothing like kicking back with a hot chocolate after a few exhilarating spins around the ice. You can always skip the pond and just drink the hot chocolate. Peppermint Schnapps, anyone?
  6. See a Bruins game – To me, this is the best thing about winter in New England. There’s nothing like taking the T over to the Garden (pronounced Gahhhden for you out of towners) and watching a bunch of lit fans bust a move on the JumboTron in between goals from Lucic and Bergeron.

Remember, we’ll be turning the clocks ahead in a few short weeks. Spring is just around the corner and we’ll be in sweltering heat and humidity before you know it. God, I love New England! 


Corinne L. Casazza is a freelance writer based in Boston, Massachusetts. She is currently at work on her third novel. Corinne believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

Corinne’s novel, Walk Like an Egyptian is available at or from Llumina Press.

Check out Corinne’s Facebook Fan Page for tips for beginning writers.

Visit Corinne’s Web site at

Travel to Sacred Sites: Vulnerability

September 24, 2013
Corinne on top of the Pyramid of the Moon

The author atop the Pyramid of the Moon, Teotihuacan, Mexico

The following is a chapter excerpt from my upcoming book: “Break These Chains of Love: A New Paradigm for Relationship”

You may be wondering how traveling to sacred sites can improve your relationship. There are power spots all over the world: Areas of the earth that hold a higher vibration of energy which helps us to release whatever we desire to let go of – thus revealing more of our True Selves. But don’t worry if your passport isn’t in order, or you’re not a fan of travel – any site can be sacred if that’s your intention.

                Since I woke up in 2001, despite my initial, significant fear of traveling, I’ve made it a point to travel to a different sacred site each year. I love trekking to ancient places and discovering new things about myself.

               My most recent trip was to Teotihuacan, Mexico – a place known for opening the heart space. It means, “the place where man recognizes he is God.” Teo was very transformational for me, in fact it may have marked me for life.

 Our group of 17 pilgrims was told we’d begin the morning with yoga before heading out on the land. Yoga was not optional. I had great resistance to this. After all, it was my vacation, I didn’t want to get up early and exercise. I do that the rest of the year. I complained to my roommate about it. I whined so much she told me to just get over it. I wasn’t over it. I should have recognized my resistance, but I didn’t. Over the years, I’ve learned that when I experience great resistance, it means there’s something important for me to know. I also find in the midst of resistance I stop all my spiritual practices that would actually help. When I’m irritated and resisting, there is no meditation, no breathing in and out of my heart space, and no giving gratitude for all I have. My stubborn personality wins and continues resisting. It really doesn’t make much sense when I’m aware these practices would make me feel much better and end my resistance. Still, it continues to be my choice much of the time.

Even though I was personally opposed to yoga, I didn’t want to let the rest of my group down.  We are a team; a family, and I wanted to be a part of this, so I got into my favorite black spandex workout pants and a red sweatshirt I bought as a tourist in Sedona, and headed out to join my team.

Even in my resistance, the stretching felt good. Okay, the sweet Mexican coffee with cinnamon and molasses may have lifted my mood a bit before I hit the floor. As I relaxed on the floor,  stretching and feeling into the energy of Mother Earth, I kept hearing the message in my head over and over, “It’s safe to be vulnerable. It’s safe to be vulnerable.”

I had been told this before I left Boston, and here it was in the present moment.

At first I thought it was just related to the stretch, since having your body flat on the ground with your neck and arms outstretched and your legs wide open is definitely a vulnerable position, especially for a woman. As I lay there, deepening the stretch and my contemplation, I realized it was more than that. It was a definitely a message and affirmation from the Universe.

                It allowed me to recognize that in the past, I had never wanted to be vulnerable, especially in my relationships with men. I felt it was a weakness that opened me to the rejection I was so afraid of. I remembered a reaction I’d had in dance class when a troupe of male belly dancers joined us for an afternoon. I thought, Who wants to be vulnerable in front of men? Not me!  Funny, I knew I must be vulnerable to dance and was open to it, but wasn’t willing to risk it in relationship.

I had so often felt completely powerless in relationship. It was my habit to come from a place of fear, lack and neediness. This choice was so ingrained in me, I wasn’t even aware I was doing it! Neither did I realize, at first, that another way was available to me.

Choosing fear created a space where I could never get what I wanted in relationship. Asking to have my needs met from this space was never even an option. The control freak that I was would never deign to ask for fear of rejection and abandonment. It seemed to me that no matter what I said or did it was always the wrong thing and I ended up alone. I became so frustrated with my relationships with men that I wondered to myself, “Am I just stupid? How come everyone else can do this and I can’t?”

Lying on the floor that morning with the Mexican sunshine streaming in through the windows, I understood that choosing to be vulnerable was something I must do to create the intimate relationship I deeply desired. I understood I needed to choose love, not fear.  I needed the courage to speak my truth with compassion and ask for my needs to be met. It occurred to me that I was always thinking, scheming, trying to manipulate and force things into place like puzzle pieces that didn’t fit. Instead, I realized, it’s possible to feel into a situation and just allow things to fall into place. I was also aware that knowing it and doing it are two different things.

                We left yoga class and headed out to the Avenue of the Dead. The avenue is comprised of several plazas and the pyramids of Quetzalcoatl, the Sun and the Moon. It’s a place of death and rebirth. Toltec warriors came here to bury their fears and be swallowed whole by Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent God. If they were ready, Quetzalcoatl would give them new life. If they weren’t, they would be spit out by the serpent and have to begin their quest all over again. Many warriors met their deaths in these initiations.

The plazas serve as places of contemplation before the initiation. It was in the plaza of fire that the true depth of my morning yoga message was revealed to me.  As I sat in meditation, I was pouring fire on my heart, fanning the flames of my heart’s desires, my passion and my purpose. Feeling into all the things I wanted to be, do and have. Breathing in and out of my heart space.

I felt my heart opening and receiving more and more heat as I did this. My heart was expanding with every breath. It was as if my breath were a bellows increasing the fire inside. The flames grew higher and higher. I saw them glow white hot – an all-consuming fire. I felt the heated expansion and the connection with my Divine Wisdom. I didn’t understand until much later that I was hearing my soul. Hearing its wishes and what it is (I AM) capable of. The flames licked at the core of my Being, and I knew that true vulnerability is a place of Divine Power, an expression of Divine Strength.

I felt the heat, the fire, continue to rise within me. With Divine Power as expression, I finally felt safe enough to be authentically vulnerable. I knew from the core of my being that vulnerability is the space I need to be in relationship from. I could feel that I had to let my desires, my wishes and goals lead me to allow my vulnerability. From this place of power, I could dream into existence all that I longed for in this lifetime. All I had to do was ask. All I had to do is co-create with Divine Source.  I felt this knowingness deep in my heart center, and felt tears of joy flow down my cheeks! It felt so good to finally know that authentic relationship was accessible to me. …

Corinne’s novel, Walk Like an Egyptian is available at

Check out Corinne’s Facebook Fan Page for tips for beginning writers.

Visit Corinne’s Web site:

Return to the Temple: A Baptism into Love and Joy

January 27, 2013
Ceiling mural at temple of Dendera

Ceiling mural at temple of Dendera

My trip to Egypt in November 2010 was priceless. It was the trip of a lifetime and I know setting foot on that ancient soil has changed me in ways I may never be consciously aware of. I do know that I received an initiation when I was there which opened me to love and joy in a whole new way.

In ancient Egypt, initiations were life-threatening. They were serve or suffer, sink or swim. Initiates were thrown into situations (like spending an entire night in a sealed sarcophagus) and if they couldn’t face their fears they risked death. It was a way of surrendering to pain and fear and then being able to render more of your true self to service. While my life was never in jeopardy, my initiation still required surrendering.

I was on a bus traveling from Abydos to Dendera – two sacred temples, the last two on our journey. Dendera is the Goddess Hathor’s temple dedicated to love and joy. While on the bus, I was overcome with motion sickness. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Oh, there was the usual dizziness and nausea, but my whole body was convulsing uncontrollably. I was aware of what was being said around me, I just couldn’t move. I was so nauseous I knew I’d have to get sick before I felt better. I didn’t want to focus on that. I especially didn’t want to think about the flight back to Cairo I’d have to board later that night… as the bus careened and thumped along a bumpy dirt road and the driver blared his horn every two seconds, I had to focus on letting go. Just relaxing into the moment.

When we arrived in Dendera, the air conditioning on the bus shut off. The other 44 people all walked past my seat. The combination of the heat and the sudden movement was just enough to push me over the edge. I lost my lunch in a plastic bag.

Once you toss your cookies on a bus full of people, all vanity pretty much goes out the window. I did start to feel a bit better though. Emil, the Egyptologist on our tour, told me I had to see the temple.

“I don’t want to,” I said my head slumped against the multi-colored bus seat in front of me.

“You must come,” he insisted, waving his hands around.

I knew I had to go. I didn’t want to miss the temple of love and joy. I had come so far to be here. I got off the bus and walked out into the 100 degree heat. Emil took my hand and led me away from the group.

“Come,” he said. “I give you good medicine, local medicine.”

He pulled me by the hand up to the front of the line where people with tickets were waiting to get into the temple. He shouted something in Arabic to the guard and pulled me right past the line.  I looked back in amazement at all the people we’d just cut. It was just so surreal.

Emil kept dragging me by the hand. We ran up to the front of the temple and he said, “Tip your head over.”

“What?” It was the last thing I felt like doing. I still felt slightly dizzy and nauseous and moving my head didn’t help.

“Tip your head over, I give you medicine.”

I did as I was told and Emil poured a bottle of cold water over my head. It cooled me down and I felt a bit better.

I entered the temple and the guard put down his automatic weapon to spread a cloth at the base of one of the columns for me to sit. He smiled and I could feel his compassion as he pointed me to my prepared place. I barely listened to the tour Emil was giving. I was still pretty out of it.

Then Nicki Scully, one of our tour guides and an incredible shaman, came over to me and held out her hand. She led me further into the temple.

Nicki was dressed in one of her ceremonial vestments – a beautiful black velvet robe with silk inlays. I kept stepping on her robe as we walked.

She led me into an interior room and sat me in the corner. “Sit here,” she said, “and let her heal you.” She pointed to the ceiling which was covered in a relief.

“This is my favorite room in all of Egypt. Just sit here and take it in.”

With that, Nicki was gone leaving me to stare up at the ceiling and sip the warm coke Emil had given me to settle my stomach. The ancient wall of the temple was cool behind my head and I wondered what had transpired in this room through the ages. What kinds of rituals and initiations had gone on here? Who served? Who suffered? Who lived to praise the Goddess another day?

I turned my attention to the ceiling, letting go of the pain in my body. The ceiling mural was still somewhat colorized. Different hues of blue still partially covered the stone. Part of the mural depicted Hathor surrounded by the rays of the sun. The rays were represented by carved triangles arranged in a pyramid shape around the Goddess. The stars of the sky were also present. They looked like little asterisks on a blue background.

Various tour groups entered the room as I was huddled in the corner. I learned this was the Divine Birthing room. The mural depicted the Goddess Nut swallowing the sun in the evening and giving birth to it in the morning.

I sat there with my head against the ancient wall staring at the stars on the ceiling, wondering what I was birthing. I could feel the presence of the Goddess all around me. She was beckoning me to relax into me. To melt into myself. To feel who I truly am – my power, my authority, my True Self, my expression. And I felt it, this energy, my energy. It was so calm but SO strong.

I could feel the energy coming off me in waves, emanating from me as if I were giving off my own light and heat; my own special brand of sunshine. And isn’t that what we do when we bring our gifts out into the world?

The energy was so strong. It made my head feel light. I kept breathing down through my feet to stay grounded. The Goddess was with me. I could feel two sets of hands over my heart chakra and another at my throat. She was showing me how safe it is to be in my heart, telling me this is where my true wisdom comes from; my authentic expression, my love and my joy.

This energy was all knowing. It encompassed the entire emotional spectrum. Here I was so vulnerable as to bare my throat to be slashed while simultaneously being so powerful I was invincible. From this state, I could tell you anything, bare my soul and not be concerned about judgment or condemnation. I felt completely blissful; knowing I had everything I needed. This was freedom!

The Goddess was holding me gently and lovingly. She was bringing me to my own wisdom. She was telling me this is the state I need to write from. From that love and joy, I could connect with my truth and trust, with my courage and contentment, with my bliss. From here I could reach the hearts and souls of others to rejoice in our sameness and our differences.

She was also showing me how strong my mental body is and that I needed to relinquish control. Stop thinking and start feeling. I had believed that all my safety was in my mental body and I didn’t feel safe outside it. Goddess had to take me to my core to show me true safety is in the heart.

It wasn’t until later that I realized I’d been baptized at the temple of love and joy. By pouring that water over my head outside the temple, Emil had symbolically prepared me to open to receive love and joy in a whole new way. By letting go of pain and fear and opening my heart to love and joy, I had passed my initiation.

I created a meditation from this experience. It’s designed to help you create from your love and joy. You can find it here on my web site, It’s a free download. A gift from my heart and the heart of the Goddess to you.

Corinne’s novel, Walk Like an Egyptian is available at or from Llumina Press.

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