Posted tagged ‘humor’

Swabbed and Swiped from Both Ends

August 18, 2016
Swabbed and Swiped

Swabbed and Swiped

This week I discovered I have strep throat. I also went to the gynecologist for my annual exam. So, I’ve been swabbed and swiped from both ends and haven’t liked it very much.

I ate nothing but saltines and soda for four days while my throat burned and I felt like my head was in a vice. That was nothing compared to my visit to the gyno.

She told me I’m peri-menopausal – as if I didn’t already know. “Do you still get a period?” she asked. I felt like a fossil. I told her I feel like I’m losing muscle tone. She laughed and told me that’s a symptom of menopause. The rest of the symptoms weren’t much fun either: hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, memory loss, vaginal dryness, irritability. Yeah, I’ll bet vaginal dryness would make me irritable.

I joked with my sister later that evening, “So, what, I’m just gonna be this dried up, doughy person from now on? I guess the upside is I won’t remember how good I used to look.”

Luckily before I went headlong down the rat hole of despair, I talked to a Canadian friend of mine. “Corinne,” she said, “You teach removing limiting beliefs, this is like anything else, make up your mind to have an easy time of it and you will.”

Duh. Of course. Here’s another example of getting overwhelmed and completely forgetting all the tools in my toolbox.

My friend also recommended Christian Northrup’s “Wisdom of Menopause.” I started reading it and feel much better about things. Dr. Northrup says this is a great time of creativity and fulfillment. A great time to change careers and do what you’re meant to be doing. A time to have the best sex of your life.

I didn’t realize a woman’s entire brain is rewired during this time. It’s more of an event than a mere transition. A life-changing event that sets you up for the second half of life. The best half. Believe the best is yet to be and it will be.

You can bet my attitude has shifted this week. Yup. I am breezing through an easy, symptom-free menopause. I can’t wait to see what miracles my new rewired brain creates in my life. And, oh by the way, I’ve never believed I’d have vaginal dryness.

Corinne and her Canadian friend are co-facilitating “Accessing the Writer Within” in Sedona next year. Of course, it contains a module on removing limiting beliefs! You can check it out here:

http://stellarproductionslive.com/PreRetreatSeminars.html

Corinne L. Casazza was sitting atop a camel next to the Sphinx, when her guide told her after this she’d “Walk Like an Egyptian.” This was a great synchronicity since it’s the name of Corinne’s second novel, written long before she ever went to Egypt.

Corinne is an international best-selling author based in Massachusetts. She’s published three novels, a best-selling book on relationship and dozens of magazine articles. Her marketing copy has helped almost a dozen people become best-selling authors on Amazon, including herself!

Corinne strongly believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

For more information, visit her:

 

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Cold as a Witch’s Teat: Six Keys to Surviving Winter in New England

February 12, 2014
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The author at Revere Beach after a winter storm.

Okay, I am a New Englander, a Bostonian born and bred, but let’s be clear: I have never liked the cold. And let’s face it, we have more snow than Sochi. One of the first things that strikes me about winter in New England is that no matter the temperature, people are drinking iced Dunkin Donuts coffee – yup, whether it’s -2 degrees or 22, people have their iced Dunkins. I recently walked into a nationwide discount store in my city. The temperature was 20 out and the store was sampling Italian ice! Really? As I passed by the stand, I told the woman, “No thanks, I’m cold enough.” Why would you sample an ice product when it’s below freezing out? Only in New England.

I spent six years wandering the desert of Arizona and now that I have a few New England winters under my belt again, I feel compelled to share my secrets for surviving the frozen tundra I call home.

  1. Dress in layers – I typically wear three layers and carry an extra pair of sox in my purse. No one needs to know you have on those one-piece footy pajamas (complete with rear escape hatch) under your clothes. Trust me, no one will notice. If you want to be sensual, try wearing natural silk long underwear. Be careful, the friction from these undies has been known to start fires…
  2. Have a sunny outlook – No matter how cold it gets, it’s always warm in your heart. Make an effort to see the beauty of the waning winter sun and the gray sky. If that doesn’t work, meditate – just be sure to do it under a blanket.
  3. Find a heat source – This could be a loved one, your dog or a heating element. Winter months in New England are a great time to cuddle up. I confess, for the last two months, I have been sitting with my feet up on the entertainment center that houses my TV and an electric fire place that throws heat. Wow, no wonder watching Justified is steamier than usual.
  4. Get away – New Englanders love to visit tropical locales in winter. And why not? Sticking your toes in the sand is a sure fire antidote for the winter blues. This winter I took off to Florida in December and San Diego in January. Don’t forget to post photos on Facebook so all your friends stuck at home in arctic temperatures can be really jealous!
  5. Take up a winter sport – My sport of choice is ice skating and I love to do it outside on a frozen pond. There’s nothing like kicking back with a hot chocolate after a few exhilarating spins around the ice. You can always skip the pond and just drink the hot chocolate. Peppermint Schnapps, anyone?
  6. See a Bruins game – To me, this is the best thing about winter in New England. There’s nothing like taking the T over to the Garden (pronounced Gahhhden for you out of towners) and watching a bunch of lit fans bust a move on the JumboTron in between goals from Lucic and Bergeron.

Remember, we’ll be turning the clocks ahead in a few short weeks. Spring is just around the corner and we’ll be in sweltering heat and humidity before you know it. God, I love New England! 

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Corinne L. Casazza is a freelance writer based in Boston, Massachusetts. She is currently at work on her third novel. Corinne believes that through creativity and humor, we all find our own inner light.

Corinne’s novel, Walk Like an Egyptian is available at Amazon.com or from Llumina Press.

Check out Corinne’s Facebook Fan Page for tips for beginning writers.

Visit Corinne’s Web site at CasazzaWriting.com

Resistance and the Monk

May 11, 2010

I was in the midst of reviewing past relationships to see my old patterns and roles so I could release them. I had a lot of resistance to doing this. Okay, in reality, I wasn’t doing it. It was my intention to do it, but I kept thinking I didn’t want to face whatever was there. When I have internal work to do, it’s easy to put off. Sometimes even cleaning the bathroom looks good.

The doorbell rang. I was very surprised to see a young monk at my door. He was only about 30, tall and very beautiful. He had deep blue eyes and I could tell by his shaven head that his hair was black when it grew in.

He was very present and explained to me that he was indeed a traveling monk and he relied on the generosity of strangers to feed him. He asked me if I had any food to share.

I brought him out some bananas, avocados and kiwis. He gave me a blessing.

“Thanks, I can use that,” I said.

“That is the gift I have to give,” he said. “And this is a beautiful gift of food. Thank you.”

Later, when I told my house mates there was a monk at the door, they thought I was joking.

“Who has a monk show up at their door, ever?” they asked.

The more I thought about it, the more miraculous it seemed. The Universe had sent me a blessing a time when I was having tough resistance. I’m sure his blessing was the boost of light I needed to do my work and get some insight into relationship. After he left, I did just that. In my next post, I’ll talk about what I discovered.